| Acronym | Meaning |
| OAP | Over-Anxious Patient |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| TWSAM | Trash Will Survive And Multiply |
| NPS | New Parent Syndrome |
| GORK | God Only Really Knows |
| SEP | Somebody Else's Problem (not To Be Confused With Sepsis) |
| YMRASU | Your Medical Records Are Screwed Up |
| PRATFO | Patient Reassured And Told To F*** Off |
| SYB | Save Your Breath (for Patients Who Don't Take Advice) |
| FOALS NEIGH | F*ck Off And Let Someone Not Extremely Incompetent Get Here |