| Acronym | Meaning |
 | BTSOOM | Beats The Shit Out Of Me |
| DOTS | Dead On The Spot (of An Accident), Also FDOTS (F*cking Dead On The Spot) |
| S2 | Sit The F**k Down And Shut The F**k Up |
| FLKBCOTP | Funny Looking Kid But Check Out The Parents |
| DBI | Dirt Bag Index: Number Of Tattoos X Number Of Missing Teeth = Days Since The Patient Last Bathed |
| GPH | Goddamns Per Hour |
| FITH | F*cked In The Head |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| PBS | Pretty Bad Shape |
| ETOH | Extremely Trashed Or Hammered (2 Derivations Given: Corruption Of "Etho" [ethanol Addict] Or From "EtOH" [chemistry Abbreviation For Ethanol]) |
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