| Acronym | Meaning |
| TLR | Two Legged Rat - Refers To A Patient Undergoing Experimental Or Extreme Treatments |
| HIBGIA | Had It Before, Got It Again |
| TUBE | Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination (might Happen To A GLM / MILF) |
| CSD | Chronic Slapping Deficiency - Annoying/unruly Family Members Hitting Nurse's Call Button Every 5 Minutes With Minor Requests/inane Questions Or For Fun |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| EI | Eating In - Intravenous Feeding |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
| GTG | Go To Ground - Fall Out Of Bed Or Chair |
| HOPEFUL | Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life (i.e. OAPs Are Not Priority For Most Hospitals) |
| OBE | Open Both Ends (known In UK As DNV - Diarrhoea And Vomiting) |