| Acronym | Meaning |
| WAFTAM | ("woff-tam"): Waste Of F***ing Time And Money |
| CFD | Call For Dirt (severely Ill Or Dying) |
| FLP | Funny Looking Parents (hereditary Cause Suspected For FLK) |
| WOMBAT | Waste Of Money, Brains And Time |
| PPPPP | Piss Poor Protoplasm Poorly Put-together (really Old And / Or Decrepit) |
| CHAOS | Chronic Hurts All Over Syndrome (PTSD/Fibromyalgia, Etc.) |
| WNL | Will Not Listen; Patient Won't Take Medical Advice |
| HI5 | HIV Positive ("V" Being The Roman Numeral For 5) |
| LOLINAD | Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress |
| LMC | Low Marble Count (low IQ) |