| Acronym | Meaning |
 | 3PS | Pill, Permissiveness And Promiscuity (relates To Female Patients With Sexually Transmitted Disease) |
| HSPL | High Serum Porcelain Level - Patient Is A Crock Of Sh*t |
| BBCS | Bumps, Bruises, Cuts And Scrapes (i.e. No Serious Injuries) |
| FTF | Failed To Fly (botched Suicide) |
| GOA | Gone On Arrival (police Turn Up, Ambulance Turns Up, Fire Brigade Turns Up, Patient Doesn't) |
| RTTL | Running Towards The Light - Dying |
| TTOAST | Take Them Out And Shoot Them |
| QID | Queen In Distress (hissy Fit) |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| CRAFT | Can't Remember A Fucking Thing |
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