| Acronym | Meaning |
| APTFRAN | Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for Annoying Patient) |
| BUNDY | But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet |
| FCBP | Fellow Of The College Of Bystander Physicians I.e. Doctor Having A Look-see |
| CBT | Chronic Burger/Biscuit Toxicity (obesity) |
| PLH | Pray Long And Hard |
| ES | Eiffel Syndrome - From "I Fell On It" Excuse By Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| ELFS | Evil Little F*ckers (irritating Children) |
| SOCMOB | Standing On Corner Minding Own Business (when Inexplicably Injured) |
| TF BUNDY | Totally F*cked, But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet |
| BBCS | Bumps, Bruises, Cuts And Scrapes (i.e. No Serious Injuries) |