| Acronym | Meaning |
 | IFOI | "I Fell On It" - (also Eiffel Syndrome) Universal Explanation Given By A Patient With A Foreign Object In The Rectum |
| POMT | Please Optimize Medical Treatment - Don't Call Us Until You've Done Your Job First |
| CF | Cockroach Factor - A Patient's Ability To Survive Trauma Or Serious Treatment Is Inversely Proportional To His Contribution To Society. |
| CABG | Coronary Artery Bypass Graft (Cabbage) - Heart Bypass |
| AOB | Alcohol On Board |
| DPS | Dumb Parent Syndrome |
| DUB | Damn Ugly Baby |
| PLTDP | Practice Limited To Dead People |
| AST | Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead) |
| PFO | Pissed (Drunk) And Fell Over |
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