| Acronym | Meaning |
 | THC | Three Hots And A Cot; Sought In A&E By The Local Homeless |
| MARPS | Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals |
| DF | Dude Factor - Survival Scoring Factor Based On Social Worth. A High Dude Factor = An Individual Of Questionable Social Worth Who Survives Near-fatal Injuries. A Low Dude Factor = Professional Person Who Slips In The Bathroom Sustaining A Fatal Injury |
| FMPS | Fluff My Pillow Syndrome (attention/sympathy Seeker) |
| 4F | Fair, Fat, Female And Forty OR Fat, Forty-ish, Flatulent Female (both Mean Abdominal Pain Patient Who Is Candidate For Gall Bladder Disease) |
| DKA | Don't/Doesn't Know Anything (but Is Explained To Relatives As Diabetic Ketoacidosis If Challenged) |
| SWI | Something Wrong Inside |
| GORK | God Only Really Knows |
| COSMONAUT | Cat Owner, Smells, Made Of Nuts And Used Tampons ("mad Cat Lady" With Poor Hygiene And Body Odour) |
| GOA | Gone On Arrival (police Turn Up, Ambulance Turns Up, Fire Brigade Turns Up, Patient Doesn't) |
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