| Acronym | Meaning |
 | JPFROG | Just Plain F***ing Ran Out Of Gas (old Age, Etc) |
| FFDID | Found Face Down In Ditch |
| CPM | Calcified Penisitis Morbidium - Male Patient Whose Ailment Is Due To Excessive Or Unprotected Sex |
| TCLT | Transcranial Lead Therapy - Gunshot Wound Passing Through Head |
| THC | Three Hots And A Cot; Sought In A&E By The Local Homeless |
| RPVU | Relative Porsche Value Unit: Surgical Index Of Potential Income From The Repair Of Patient Injuries, Usually Orthopaedic In Nature. Fractured Finger = A Windscreen Wiper; A Fractured Hip = New Tyres Etc. |
| PSS | Positive Suitcase Sign - Patients Who Are Repeated Admissions For Prolonged Periods With No Physiological Cause Of Their Problems. They Turn Up At Hospital With Packed Suitcases Ready For Admission |
| TLGP | Two Legged Guinea Pig - Patient Undergoing Experimental Or Extreme Treatments |
| BTSOOM | Beats The Shit Out Of Me |
| POPTA | Passed Out Prior To Arrival |
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